The Mission
by Kaeru Shisho
Summary: A goofy Halloween story.


**The Mission**

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Gundam Wing or its characters. I make no monetary profit off this story.

A/N: This is the tamest story I have ever written and one of the shortest. No warnings. Please, credit the wonderful Waterlily with the ending.

* * *

**The Problem:**

"We haven't much time left," Quatre said, "but if we don't do something, we might as well just give up."

"Can't do that! No, no, no. Lemme think."

"Stand back," Trowa muttered, his wry wit bouncing off Heero.

Heero examined Duo with a quick toe to top of head scan, and then scowled at Trowa. "He is holding no incendiaries or arms. Putting a greater distance between us is inconsequential."

"Don't be so sure," Trowa said.

"Okay, I got it," Duo said. "I can put charges here, here, and one here, too. That outta do it."

The corners of Trowa's lips curled up slightly _See?_

"You might be right, Duo, but it could be overkill," Quatre warned him.

Heero drew his handgun and aimed. "I could blast holes clean through."

Quatre caught his arm and slowly lowered the weapon. "I'm sure you could, but it would be messy."

**The Execution:**

Wufei chose that moment to make his entry, sword in hand. "Allow me."

Quatre stepped back. "Be careful."

"You insult my heritage with that remark," Wufei said as he plunged his blade into the top and circled the perimeter.

Duo grabbed the newly made lid before it slid to the floor. "Got it! Oh, man, whatta mess. Ya gotta see inside this thing."

Trowa wiggled a short knife from his back pocket. "This calls for a specialist."

"I'll get a bowl and a heavy spoon!" Quatre called out from the kitchen.

Heero waited for the proper tools to arrive, and then got down and dirty and scraped the insides clean.

"It's supposed to have openings. Look at the pictures." Duo handed around a magazine.

"My turn." Trowa stabbed and cut in short strokes.

"Oh, that's good. Another one here. And here! You are so talented, Trowa."

"Quatre, shut up," Heero said.

"That's enough." Duo compared the result with the picture. "Close enough."

**The Cleanup:**

"We should have done this on newspapers."

**The Evaluation:**

"There are no candles, Maxwell. A flashlight works." Wufei sighed.

"But they say use candles."

"Look, Duo. The result's the same." Trowa said.

"And the Heero Yuy assessment is..?" Quatre asked.

"Mission accomplished."

"It's a Halloween Jack-o-lantern, not a mission, 'Ro!" Duo said. "It's cool."

**The Finale:**

"Candles, candles...I know we have some."

"Stop rummaging," Wufei told Duo, who was tearing apart the single dresser. "If we have any, candles would be stored in the EMERGENCY supply box."

"We have one of those? Where?"

"Under Heero's cot."

"Gotcha. Thanks, bro'!" His blown kisses sent Wufei huffing out the front door. One down, three more to go.

After one quick check to make sure his roommate was fully immersed in mission specs elsewhere and his other two cabinmates were busy with dinner preparations, Duo scampered into the bedroom and scooted under the cots. He grabbed the smaller of the two boxes hidden there.

"Must be it."

Sure enough, he found what he was looking for, and returned the supplies where he'd found them, candle in hand. He snagged a lighter off the hearth and marched up to the windowsill where the jack-o-lantern rested.

"Out with the old," he removed Trowa's flashlight, "and in with the new." He inserted the candle and lit the wick. "Nice. Hey, Heero! Come take a look!"

"What?" Heero peered into the room, sniffed the air, and glowered at the sparking fuse. His jaw clenched so four-square and rock-hard he looked like Dick Tracy. His shoulders became absolutely straight and right-angled and level with the floor, as though he were wearing a cardboard box from the liquor store under his coat. "Duo, you, baka... Evacuate!" he shouted.

Quatre and Trowa scrambled out of the kitchen in the wake of Heero pushing Duo none too delicately ahead of him.

Wufei turned when he heard the tumult coming at him, mouth open and ready to complain at the disturbance, and was barreled into by the others.

"Down!" Heero ordered.

Wufei was mostly flattened already, but the others obeyed without argument.

BOOM!

The flash of light lit the night and the explosion blew out the side of their cabin.

Standing by the smoldering ruins, gave them all a chance to speak their mind.

Duo appeared stunned for a moment and then shook his head. "Heero, we're gonna haveta have at look at that." He had the general air of a man whose parachute doesn't seem to be opening.

"Shit!"escaped Quatre's mouth unexpectedly.

"Ditto," was all Trowa could manage.

"Madman," Wufei summarized perfectly.

"It looked like a candle." Duo was sorry. He wrapped and unwrapped his braid around his wrist as if to reassure himself of its safety.

"How many candles have you seen?" Heero wondered aloud.

"My dinner...spoiled." Quatre sighed.

Wufei scowled, restraining himself with the greatest of diffculty. More than anything, he wanted to grab the braid and strangle Duo. After flexing his hands a few times, he pinned them under his arms. "We are talking serious losses here, Winner."

They exchanged sour looks.

"There goes the security deposit," Trowa noted.

"What security deposit?" Duo tried to stare the answer out of Trowa, who was busy sweeping the dust off his pants. "Not my 'shiny new hog' savings! Tell me you didn't use that!"

"It was voted on, don't you remember?" Quatre asked.

"I don't."

Heero smiled. "You weren't present. I cast your vote. It was unanimous."

"But it wasn't!" Duo fisted his hands.

"And, as you can see it is gone, none the less." Wufei captured and tucked away an errant lank of hair. "Wasted one way or the other. If not a 'hog,' then you were only saving up for some other turkey."

Quatre cast his soulful eyes over the charred remains of the kitchen. "Speaking of turkey...there's no dinner tonight."

Wufei's narrowed to razor sharpness. "Maxwell..."

"I have an idea! There's more to this Halloween thing than just vegetable destruction. We can go house to house and beg for... food. All the kids will be doing it and we won't be noticed in costumes."

"Stop!" Heero pressed a hand over the chattering boy's mouth. "We are not children."

"We haven't any costumes," Quatre pointed out.

"We'll make them out of..." Duo looked thoughtful, then said with a brilliant smile, "sheets!"

Trowa agreed to cut the eye holes. "You sure ghosts come in plaid?"

"Ghosts come in sheets and if plaid's what we got then ghosts come in plaid."

Trowa nodded. "Logical, if not stupid."

Wufei, dressed in his Chinese pants and shirt, waved his sword at Duo. "I shall go as myself."

"Scary, Chang." Heero smiled fractionally then covered his head with a sheet. "The eyeholes are too far apart imparing my vision."

"Tough shit, Yuy," Trowa commented then stabbed at the last bit of cloth. "You have any special requests?" he asked Quatre, show was hovering at his shoulder.

"N-no! I'm sure however you fix that one will be perfect for me."

"Suck up," Duo said, chuckling. "All right! Gotcher sacks for the loot?"

Heero lifted one arm displaying his grocery bag. "Ready."

Along the path from the resort cabin to the town below, Duo explained the rules of the game. "It's simple. You knock and say 'Trick or treat' , and then hold out your bag. Got that?"

"If children do this, we can," Quatre assured him.

"In my culture it is dshonorable to beg."

"'Fei, you are the last of your kind. Define a new culture." Duo hopped out of his reach and stepped on Trowa's sheet, nearly tripping him up.

"Now, I am a powder blue ghost with a foot print," he said.

"I like blue," Quatre said. "Why did I get the flowered sheet with the stains?" No one answered. "What are these stains, Duo?"

"Why ask me? That's not mine. Why does everyone think if it's dirt it's mine?"

Heero silenced Wufei with a brain-skinning glare. "Here's the first house. I shall execute the mission."

"Be my guest." Duo stood aside with the others to watch.

Heero stood at the door, rapped twice, and waited. He lifted his hand to pund harder, when the door opened.

"Hello? Oh, what have we here? A very, very tall ghost?"

"Food or bullet."

Duo groaned and bounded to the door. "Trick or treat!"

Once the others saw that, indeed, the homeowner was giving Heero and Duo apples, they joined the ensemble at the door and recieved theirs, too. "Thank you!" Quatre shouted as they all dashed to the next house.

"Forget that one," Heero said about the drab structure next door. "Target that one."

Four pairs of eyes raced the trajectory from his pointing finger to the the top of the hill. "That's one hell of a big house!"

"Maxwell, you have a knack for understatement," the Chinese swordsman said. "That is a palace."

"You should let me do the talking this time," Quatre said, pushing ahead. "I lived in a place bigger than that once and know how to address the servants."

"Make certain they give us a complete dinner." Heero eyed his simple apple with distrust. "Something rice."

"Make that 'nice' and I'm cool." Duo slapped his serious-minded buddy on the back and strode bravely in the lead.

Duo couldn't believe his eyes. "How many people live in a place like this, you think? Couple hundred? Maybe we can stay here? They wouldn't even notice a few extras. Hey! Lookit the guards! We could do that, well, 'Ro 's got the stance down pat. I could--"

"Shut up. That is what you can do," Heero said.

Wufei was squabbling with a guard over his sword, which he would not hand over at any cost. Quatre stepped in to explain that they were begging for food, and Duo interupted numerous time to clarify that they were "Trick or Treating!" Trowa pulled out a deck of cards and amused the other guards with cardtricks. Heero pulled off the ridiculous sheet so he could see the terrain and properly calculate the possible ways he could fight his way through to the kitchen.

"What's the meaning of this? I heard the disturbance from the other side of... Heero Yuy!"

The color drained from his face. His Adam's apple kept appearing and disappearing like a pump in an oilfield. "Re-lena?" his voiced cracked. He looked around wildly for an escape route, flashing quick despairing glances about like semiphores for help from a deserted island, but no one came to his aid. Miss Relena's fingers latched onto his arm.

"You must come inside. Join me for dinner." Her smile was wide and her wink, knowing.

"Erk?" Heero squawked in a most unmanly way.

Quatre chuckled. "Seems you were right about Halloween being scary, Duo."

"Only by accident," Wufei snapped.

"Hey, look on the bright side, I was right about the free food."

"If that was the bright side," Heero said cutting his thumb on the metal trim around the door jam as Relena dragged him inside, "there's no point in looking at it.

Trowa smiled as he stepped past the guards into the entry, not that he didn't appreciate Heero's sacrifice, but that wasn't his problem and for that he was grateful.

The End

Happy Halloween!


End file.
